The Regional Director
| The Regional Director | |
|---|---|
 A visit in progress on October 25, 2026. The gold label marks the Regional Director, whose body is hidden behind a lint quiz. | |
| First appearance | Silver Orange (July 2026) |
| Created by | Molecular Reality Corporation |
| Voiced by | None |
| In-universe information | |
| Species | Entity |
| Occupation | Regional Director |
| Announced by | TAB-42 |
| Instructions | Remain stationary Do not make eye contact |
The Regional Director, called Regional in the game's notices, is a visiting entity in Silver Orange, a browser game that Molecular Reality Corporation built in July 2026. He appears during VISITATION, the rarest of the game's large events, which the inspector TAB-42 opens with an announcement: "REGIONAL IS PASSING THROUGH. Remain stationary. Do not make eye contact. This is standard."[1] He stays for one minute and has no lines of his own.
Visits
The game tries to start one of its large events on each of its frames, 30 a second, whenever no event is running and the cooldown left by the previous one has expired. VISITATION has a chance of 1 in 20,000 per frame, the lowest of the seven events that can occur; a bean flood has 1 in 5,000. If two events are drawn in the same frame, VISITATION goes first. It lasts 60 seconds, the longest of the seven, and the cooldown it sets is also the longest: no other large event can begin for 10 minutes after he arrives. For the whole minute a banner across the screen reads VISITATION.[1]
At the end TAB-42 posts "Regional has departed. Resume normal operations." On Thursdays, by the player's own computer clock, the inspector may report on him in his absence: one of four check-ins that can appear each minute reads "Thursday compliance status: ADEQUATE. The Regional Director sends regards."[1]
Appearance
His entry in the game's code gives him the name and type "REGIONAL DIRECTOR", a size of 3, three times the default, and an empty speech bubble. The routine that draws the creatures does not read the size, so on screen he is no larger than anyone else. Every creature's body is generated from the first letters of its name. For "REGIONAL DIRECTOR" the rule produces two overlapping blocks, red and light blue, with two white eyes and a small yellow block on top.[1]
Three things set him apart. A translucent gold disc 50 pixels in radius surrounds him. His name appears twice, once in the small type that labels every creature and once above it in gold capitals 12 pixels high. Other creatures fade to 30 percent opacity within a few seconds of arriving, and he is drawn at full strength for the whole visit.[1]
Movement
He moves to the right at 1.5 pixels per frame. The code creates him just beyond the left edge of the screen and removes him once he passes a point beyond the right edge, but the rule that wraps creatures around the screen acts first, so he never reaches the exit and crosses the screen about every 12 seconds, five times in a visit.[a] While he is on screen every other creature is pulled a little toward him on every frame. A comment in the code says that the creatures "bow" when he leaves; what the code does then is slow any creature moving faster than 2 pixels per frame to 1.5.[1]
In other respects the game treats him as one of the creatures. He can be drawn into their conversations, in which he speaks their stock lines, such as "Bean audits require 30 days notice.", and he can be counted into the committees they form.[1]
Interaction
A click on the screen during a visit brings the notice "Please do not interact with Regional." The notice answers only clicks that hit nothing else. The game checks the creatures first, and a click within 24 pixels of one destroys it in a burst of 30 particles and pays the player a bean. The Regional Director is no exception. When he is destroyed his gold disc and gold name stay where he stood, the other creatures go on drifting toward the spot, and at the end of the minute TAB-42 reports that Regional has departed.[1]
Reception
Ludicious reviewed Silver Orange on September 10, 2026, under the headline "Silver Orange Review: Please Do Not Interact With Regional", and gave him a line of his own in its scorecard: "Regional, when he comes: 9".[2]
See also
Notes
- ^ On his first frame the wrapping rule moves him from the left edge to the right edge, and on his second back to the left.